Mental Health Illnesses Stole the Outdoors from my Family

I cannot keep silent anymore. It’s been going for too long and it’s driving me nuts. Mental health illnesses are wreaking havoc in my family and I’m feeling sad, angry, hurt and frustrated. My youngest, age 13, suffers from anorexia. My oldest, age 15, suffers from school phobia. Both conditions appeared this year, though the school phobia has been going on for longer. Both conditions have affected all four of us deeply, as well as everything that surrounds us – school, activities, friends, relationships. It sucks. It really, really sucks and I feel like I’m hitting a brick wall.

Swinley Forest

这是可爱的森林我为今天的家庭在周日加息回升。必威体育app官网昨天,我的小问她是否可以准备我们四个野餐午餐。我们说,当然,这将是巨大的。她把她的可爱便当书拿出来,做成寿司饭,有色它蓝,形成可爱的动物与海藻切口。今天早上,我坐火车,行程,天气核对行程时间。这本来是散步一个愉快的一天。我丈夫和我都去了我们的女孩的卧室去唤醒他们。

“早上好,是时候该起床了。”

Teenage Anorexia

Only my youngest didn’t get up for very long. She came to the kitchen, looked at the lunch boxes and went back to her bedroom to lie down.

“我身体不舒服,”她说。“我不能来。”

She looked so pale, so fragile. Curled up in foetal position, she looked miserable inside and outside her body. I wanted to hug her, to make her feel better, but she didn’t want to be touched.

“I’m not feeling well.”

这是一个句子我们经常听说自从summer and the fact is, she didn’t look well at all. Initially, we attributed it to tiredness from school. Tiredness from being too much on screens. It’s ironic for us, used to enjoy the outdoors during every weekend and vacation, that we now spend our weekends hoping and praying that one of our girls will be upbeat enough to join us outside. The truth is, my husband and I have been going outside by ourselves as of late, leaving the girls at home. Its not a bad thing per se, except the absence of my daughters when we’re outside is a cruel reminder of their poor mental state.

I cannot share my plant discoveries with my youngest anymore.

I cannot play imaginary games on the trail with her anymore.

I cannot discuss school friends with my oldest anymore.

我不能共享松鼠瞄准或河流与他们穿越了。

They’ve slowly but surely stopped going outside.

然而,我的小爱外出。至少,她做到了。对于2017年的圣诞节,她问了一个单人帐篷,带LED照明的电线杆。她的生日,她要了热睡袍和一个新的野营炉。当我们走到她一起上学,我们计划在我们的头脑背包旅行,讨论利弊山等的优缺点,以及完善的脱水露营菜单。

但是,厌食是吸吮的生活给她的。她的能量水平一路下滑。她仅重38公斤/ 83磅到1.60米/ 5“2”。她经常从学校回来厌恶的,不肯去她的艺术类或拒绝做功课。

“What have you had for lunch?” I ask.

“煮土豆和水果,”她回答说。

It’s a lie.

I didn’t know it was a lie until this week, when the school counsellor called me. My daughter had skipped lunch three days in a row. She also hadn’t had breakfast, which made dinner her only meal of the day, only she would eat three cookies after school and say she wasn’t hungry for dinner.

My daughter suffers from anorexia and I want her to be happy but I don’t know how to do it.

The outdoors used to make us happy.

户外是我必威安卓们去,到周日的活动。

The outdoors has become a luxury, something we do when on vacation because it’s planned.

青少年学校恐怖症

However, our slow withdrawal from the outdoors started with my oldest’ school phobia a couple of years ago. If you don’t know what school phobia is, it’s also known asschool refusal这是一个严重的焦虑,其表现自己,为我的女儿,在削弱腹部疼痛和头痛。通常情况下,她就开始强调在学校上周六,感觉更糟,在床上待上周日,将在周一上午不堪。周一来了又走,周二来来去去,并在周三,她开始感觉好多了。

我不能告诉你,我们在时间的最后minute.The号取消远足和游必威体育app官网览的人数我花了学习地图,寻找有趣的地方去,只能到货架的想法,当大家会感觉很好美好的一天。预计通过取消一天的极度失望以下这些伟大的冒险的乐趣,其次是愤怒和失望,更何况事实,我不知道如何把事情做好。

Believe me, I try, but trying’s not good enough.

Though neither my husband nor I suffer from mental health diseases, we both suffer the side-effects of metal health diseases. Each bad day for our girls is a blow to our mental. Each time I hear or see my girls lying in bed and suffering inside their heads, it breaks my heart into a million pieces. Each time I see their eyes looking away and retreating to dark thoughts, I want to shake the sadness out of them. I want to find the culprit, kick it hard in the butt, tell it never to come back and eradicate it from out lives. I want to take this shitty anorexia or anxiety and burn it to ashes.

I want our life back.

我想我的女儿高兴地再活一次。

I don’t want to smile when deep inside I’m crying.

Road to Recovery

My eldest daughter now sees a psychologist every week. It helps. She’s much better and she’s improved her school attendance as well as her general mood. She keeps singing with her singing teacher and her choir, something that makes us all very happy.

Ironically, now that my oldest’s situation has improved, my youngest suffering from anorexia. That’s pretty twisted.

I don’t know how to fight anorexia but I will find a way. We all will. We need to, for my daughter’s sake. She’s a bright kid, she’s got a bright future ahead of her if only she would love herself and find her confidence.

Talking about Mental Health

Mental health illnesses have been ruining our lives and we need to talk about the mental health of our kids. They may seem happy on the outside when they’re really dark inside.

我分享这个,希望它会开始一场骗局versation. Neither of my girls know that I’m writing this and they’re probably going to be pissed but I can’t pretend that we’re all a happy family when we’re not. Yes, we go places, we do stuff, but we’re a broken family right now.

Mental health is a taboo in our society. It’s terrible and destructive, but it needs to be addressed as much as physical health.

户外应该必威安卓是心理健康好,对不对?它应该愈合和舒缓,平静你的心灵,照亮你的精神。只有当你不能把心理健康患者到户外你会怎么做?必威安卓

This is wrong.

I look forward to the day when we can all go back to the outdoors as a family with a bento box and blue sushi rice pandas, without worrying about what tomorrow will bring.

In the meantime, I’ll keep fighting with a heavy heart.

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Laure Latham

劳拉是一位作家,环保倡导者,博客,公开水域游泳,现在的母亲。她的启发左右的家庭享受户外活动与他betway经典老虎机们的孩子,学习拔掉和生活健康的生活方式,让孩子生活技能和探索周围的世界共享家必威安卓庭友好,好玩的点子全家青蛙妈妈激情。betway体育app官网

5回应“心理健康所患疾病从我的家庭偷走了户外”必威安卓

  1. December 03, 2018 at 6:49 am, Beth said:

    Hugs, Laure

    Reply

  2. December 03, 2018 at 8:46 am, Alex Totic said:

    So sorry to read this. I’ve been reading your blog for years. The elaborate adventures were a nice escape from the fact that my own 3 kids have little appetite for active trips.

    I have some experience with school phobia.

    在5年级,我的大儿子开始变得胃疼,并在一天内多次呕吐。他错过了过去3个月的第5级。没有物理原因也没有发现,尽管测试电池。他甚至得到了他的肚子作用域,并有老年痴呆症的发作疯狂,当他来到麻醉,在那里,他不知道谁是我的了,并得到了肯定的外国人。我们也尝试过催眠治疗师,我不记得一些创伤后应激障碍相关的治疗他的名字。我们5楼和6之间度过夏天刚刚复苏,他的胃痛走了。

    In the 6th grade, first 2 months were ok, but then he got hit by panic attacks. They’d start at night, and go on for hours, he’d be screaming, bouncing off the bed, sometimes he’d speak in this weird posessed voice. Super scary. We scrambled to the therapy circuit again…..

    At the same time, I saw a counselor for myself at JCC in Palo Alto, and I described boy’s symptoms to her. She said that description did not sound like a real panic attack, it was an act. I did not believe it, but was desperate. She instructed me on how to behave for the next attack, (ignore him). It turned out she was right, it was a crazy night where we ignored him, and witnessed every symptom from the last 3 years acted out.

    After this, I decided to trust the counselor fully. She thought me lots of little things about how we related to our son that made a big difference. The rest of the 6th grade things got better, but not great, there were still occasional minor relapses. Oh, and none of this involved getting son into therapy (waiting list for one we wanted was long).

    Summer of 6th grade was good, kid took some tutoring to catch up on missed schoolwork. We had a good time for two weeks on a beach in France, while he spent a good part of those 2 weeks doing what he loves most, playing Fortnite. Well, actually, he did develop a stomachache while we were on a trip, which freaked me out He did swim almost every day…

    Now, in 7th grade, there have been no health scares, and kid is doing well in school. He is also in counseling, the spot has finally opened up, and he really likes it. I am like, you do not need to go, you are doing great, and he is, like, I like going there dad, we talk about interesting stuff. I am cautiously optimistic that the crazy times are behind us.

    I wrote this to let you know that things can get better, as a payback to all those virtual trips you’ve let me take. Our family was definitely not the only one dealing with these matters. In spite of these problems being relatively common, finding solutions is not trivial. I am still not sure what did it for us, it was lots of small adjustments in my behavior, and guiding my son in the right direction.

    Reply

  3. December 04, 2018 at 8:33 am, Laure Latham said:

    Alex, thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your experience. It must have very, very tough. My oldest daughter’s therapy has indeed helped a lot for it only started this September and she’s been having symptoms for the past 3 years. I am totally new to the world of mental illnesses and like a new parent, I’m learning as I go. It seems like there’s a crazy number of kids out there who are suffering and I wonder why that is. I honestly wonder. When I grew up, either I was oblivious to everything going on around me (a real possibility, kids are very self absorbed) or the world functioned differently. I wouldn’t blame internet and social media for all of it but certainly, it has an impact. Anyhow. I am glad that your son is doing better now, really glad in fact, and wish him all the best in his studies, hobbies and friends. Friends are important. Thanks for your support, Alex.

    Reply

  4. December 05, 2018 at 1:58 am, Amy said:

    非常抱歉听到你的女孩正在这些空间站ues! As someone who has had serious bouts of depression and anxiety I know finding the right medication can make so much of a difference so I hope your family is trying that as well as therapy. I have a few friends that have battled anorexia and I’ve seen it can be terribly difficult to overcome. I’m glad you have recognized it in your daughter early and I hope she can break the destructive patterns before they are ingrained. For my friends, residential programs were needed. It’s a big shake up in life. I hope you can get back to focusing on doing the things you love soon.Thanks for being honest and open about what your family is going through.

    Reply

  5. December 05, 2018 at 6:33 am, Heather said:

    Laure, I only just now read this now, and I feel your pain. I’m so sorry!

    My son also has severe anxiety and depression around school, so much so that we moved him to a new school over an hour’s drive away two years ago, then moved him to another new school closer to home this year because the drive was killing us, and now are preparing to move him back to the far away school because he is miserable at the new one. He will take the train and use a car service this time.

    Stomach aches, head aches, anger, frustration, he would hide under his bed and cry, saying he was scared to go to school (three schools back). All the while not learning what he should for a kid his age who is as intelligent as he is.

    This year our daughter, too, is having trouble with anxiety based around testing at school. Both kids are going to see therapists and tutors, and I am trying my best to buoy them (and myself) up.

    有对我们的孩子有很多讲究的学校 - 欺凌,羞辱,很多不好的东西,不只是其他学生犯下的,但经常被老师和同学的父母也是如此。我不喜欢它,这是非常难以对付。

    You’re absolutely right that mental health is as important as physical health, and it has not gotten the attention it needs. As for the stress, frustration and sadness of working to help your daughters, please know that you are not alone!

    Reply

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